The Wizard Who Fought a Dragon Naked
Spoiler: show
I'm walking along a mountain path. Why? The idiot peasants who are stupid enough to believe The Order's propaganda are terrified now that there's a Dragon in a cave in these mountains. I know better than to fear her for no reason. I decided I'd try to do something about the Dragon so the morons in the village near the base of the mountain won't try to hurt her. They said they'd pay me in gold and specific information if I succeed in "getting rid of" the Dragon. Convincing her to leave would be good enough, obviously. (I actually have ulterior motives, but...)
So, anyway, here I am on the mountain path, heading for her cave. Now, I'm a bit of a spellsword. I mostly use magic, but I do use medium and heavy armor and various weapons from time to time. This time, however, I'm wearing the typical wizard's outfit. I decided not to wear any armor because I didn't feel like lugging it up the path with me. I'm not flying to her cave via levitation because I might need all my magic energy for Fire Shield spells, should she get mad at me. She probably will, what with the hair-brained stunt I'm going to pull.
Finally, I arrive. She's home. I know because I can hear her conducting an inventory of her treasure. I calmly walk in and wait for her to acknowledge my presence.
"...22 rubies, 14 diamonds, 53 emeralds, 1,936,294 gold coins..."
Now I'm especially worried about her. I made enough noise that she should have noticed me. It looks like she didn't, and if someone tried to sneak in here, like a peasant with a pitchfork... I don't want to think about it.
After a few seconds of standing there waiting, she finishes.
"...and an ancient book on various herbs... Done." She turns around and sees me. "Who are you and what do you want?"
"My name is Sol. Nice to meet you, m'lady."
I bow respectfully. She nods and returns the greeting.
"My name is Agatha. Now, what is your reason for coming here?"
"The peasants at the base of the mountain are terrified of you, probably for no reason. I accepted a job offer to 'get rid of you' for some gold and some information I've been after. My definition of "getting rid of you" involves convincing you to move. By doing that, they can't hurt you, or try, anyway, you can go about your business, and I can get what I want from them. Everybody wins. What say you?"
She cocks an eyebrow, unimpressed. "And if I say I won't move?"
"Then I challenge you to a duel. If I win, you pack up your treasure and other things and move to an area less hostile to you. If you win, I'll apologize for wasting your time, and I'll go slaughter the peasants until they give me what I want, then I'll thank them and resume slaughtering them until they're all dead." I say this, hoping she'll fall for my bluff.
"I can't tell if you're serious about that last part or not. Wouldn't it get me bad publicity if you did that? They'd think I enslaved you and made you do it. You'd be giving The Order more propaganda to use. From the look of you, your tone, and what I sense, you're not the type that'd do that. Instead, you'd be vehemently against giving The Order more lies to use."
Damn it! She saw through me! My only hope is being able to beat her in the duel. "Well then, the duel. Do you accept?"
"Yes."
"Good. Let me get ready. These clothes make it hard to move in battle." I take off my robe and wizard hat, and the rest of my clothes, except for my leather boots.
"What the hell are you doing!? Why are you getting naked!?" She yells in surprised protest, her face getting redder by the second.
"Because this'll allow me to fight you at my best." I'm lying, but she might not know that. In actuality, I'm going to fight her naked so that my well-defined muscles and ever-hardening meat-rod might distract her, giving me an advantage or an opportunity to win.
Unconvinced, but not about to back down from my challenge, she assumes a hand-to-hand fighting stance. "Let's get this over with." He tone indicated that she was irritated by my intent to fight naked. That's good, though, since I expected to be in the middle of an inferno right about now. Also, she keeps glancing at my dick, so I guess that part of the plan is also working.
I take up a hand-to-hand stance, with another part of me being half-hard. She's incredibly beautiful and sexy, and I've got a fetish for scaly women, anyway, especially Dragons. If I get a full boner, it'll be difficult to fight. Maybe I should have kept my boxer-briefs on after all...
She inhales. I get ready to cast a Fire Shield spell. She doesn't do what I expect. She yells, "Ready!? GO!!"
Caught off-guard for a moment, I'm unable to evade or block her punch. She nails me right in the forehead, one of her scales on her fist giving me a small cut. To my surprise, I'm not sent into the wall at high speed, nor am I sent flying out of her cave, sailing over the horizon, but before that fact sinks in, I react by casting Damned at point-blank. She's completely unaffected.
"Did you really think a fire spell would work on a Dragon?"
"No."
"Then why'd you do it?"
"Reflex."
"I see. It might have worked against most others, so I guess it's admirable that you've developed such reflexes."
"Thanks. Prismatic Missile!"
I cast Prismatic Missile. She gets hit by all the crystals of light, but is still unaffected.
She raises an eyebrow. I respond with a nervous smile and a statement of the apparent obvious. "I guess Dragons are immune to magic?"
"A lot of us are. I am, as you've just found out. So, what now, naked wizard? You didn't lose consciousness when I punched you, which means that you're not as squishy as most wizards, and you're tougher than a lot of warriors, too."
"Uh, well, I guess I'll use magic to reinforce my body so I can fight you physically at a more equal level."
"That would be smart."
She jumps away, landing gracefully several feet away from me. Due to the close encounter with her, I've got a full erection. She sees it, and it only makes her smile proudly, even though her face got redder, too. Obviously, knowing that she's the reason for my boner has enlarged her ego. I expect prouder, more haughty behavior.
I buff myself with spells, causing my body to glow slightly. I smile confidently and rush her. She decides to charge at me, too. Our battle turns into a slug-fest, with us not really making any attempt to block, evade, or counter the other's strikes. We only hit each other with reckless abandon. After a full minute-and-a-half of punching each other, I try an open-palm strike. She redirects my hand at the last second, and it ends up on her breast. She looks at my hand, then at me with an angry, offended look.
"You dare grab me there, HUMAN!?"
"Oh, shit..."
She inhales, with some fire coming out of her mouth as she prepares to shoot a fireball from her mouth. I jump away in a panic.
"I'm sorry! I didn't mean to!"
Not caring to listen to my apologies, she launches the fireball at me. I cast Danjig, using it to absorb and shoot the fireball away, in what I thought was a harmless direction. Turns out, her fireball was more powerful than I expected. I thought it'd be fine if it hit the ceiling, and that it'd just dissipate after a loud boom or something. Wrong. It caused part of the ceiling to cave in and fall right on top of her, burying her in the rubble.
Horrified at my accident, I rush over to her and start digging her out. "I'm sorry! Are you okay!?"
I uncover her head. She groans. I get enough of the rubble off of her to allow her to get up, getting herself out of the pile the rest of the way. She puts one hand on her head.
I grab her by the shoulders and look at her. "Are you alright? I didn't mean to do that."
I cast a few healing spells on us both. She finally speaks. "You've beaten me."
"I have?"
"Yes. Redirecting my attack and using it against me, as well as using the environment, is acceptable. You say you didn't mean to, but you might have subconsciously thought to do what you did to win. I commend you."
After a few seconds of letting the knowledge of my victory sink in, I say, "So, what now? I've beaten you, which means that as per the conditions of our duel, and for your own safety, you have to move. I'm sorry, but I don't want those morons to hurt you. Where will you go?"
She looks at me, this time without any trace of superiority. "You've beaten me and proven yourself worthy of my hand in marriage. As soon as you get your clothes back on, we'll head for the nearest area of demon realm territory and get married. I'll move in with you."
Awestruck and speechless at this uncharacteristically good fortune, I am unable to stop looking at her, let alone say anything.
She blushes. "What? Why do you stare? Does the idea of a Dragon for a wife displease you?"
Snapping to, I stammer in my response. "N-no, that's not it! It-it's just, wow, you know? I mean, I never thought I would ever be worthy of a Dragon, and now that this has happened, I... I just-"
"You don't know whether to shit or go blind?" she asks, somewhat amused.
"Uh, yeah. Pretty much. What will I tell the villagers?"
She blushes and hesitantly replies, "We'll tell them you tamed me. That should give you one hell of an image to them, riding on my back as I take you back down there, with you telling them that. Don't you think?"
After a few seconds, I nod. I put my clothes back on and she and I pack her things, something made incredibly quick and easy, since she has a bag of holding, and we step outside. She turns into her full-Dragon form. I stare at her with amazement until she snaps me out of it.
"Get on."
I nod and climb onto her back, carrying her bag of holding, which contains all of her belongings. She flies us down to the village. At first, the villagers run in terror, but after she lands and they see me on her back, they gaze in wonder. The "leader" of the village cautiously approaches. I drop down from her back.
"What's going on, here?" he asks.
I proudly smile. "After one hell of a battle, I managed to tame her. She was harmless before, but now you have no worries at all, because she's coming with me."
Some of the other villagers start whispering to each other, calling me "Dragon Tamer" and stuff. Nonsense, but I'm not going to correct them.
The head of the village gives me the ridiculously small sum of gold, but more importantly, he gives me the information I wanted. He asked us to attend a feast in my honor, but I told him that my quest was time-sensitive and that I was barely on-schedule. With that, my new Dragon wife and I flew off.
"So where's this demon realm territory?" I ask.
"Don't worry. I'll take you there."
We continue flying toward where we'll officially become husband and wife.
So, anyway, here I am on the mountain path, heading for her cave. Now, I'm a bit of a spellsword. I mostly use magic, but I do use medium and heavy armor and various weapons from time to time. This time, however, I'm wearing the typical wizard's outfit. I decided not to wear any armor because I didn't feel like lugging it up the path with me. I'm not flying to her cave via levitation because I might need all my magic energy for Fire Shield spells, should she get mad at me. She probably will, what with the hair-brained stunt I'm going to pull.
Finally, I arrive. She's home. I know because I can hear her conducting an inventory of her treasure. I calmly walk in and wait for her to acknowledge my presence.
"...22 rubies, 14 diamonds, 53 emeralds, 1,936,294 gold coins..."
Now I'm especially worried about her. I made enough noise that she should have noticed me. It looks like she didn't, and if someone tried to sneak in here, like a peasant with a pitchfork... I don't want to think about it.
After a few seconds of standing there waiting, she finishes.
"...and an ancient book on various herbs... Done." She turns around and sees me. "Who are you and what do you want?"
"My name is Sol. Nice to meet you, m'lady."
I bow respectfully. She nods and returns the greeting.
"My name is Agatha. Now, what is your reason for coming here?"
"The peasants at the base of the mountain are terrified of you, probably for no reason. I accepted a job offer to 'get rid of you' for some gold and some information I've been after. My definition of "getting rid of you" involves convincing you to move. By doing that, they can't hurt you, or try, anyway, you can go about your business, and I can get what I want from them. Everybody wins. What say you?"
She cocks an eyebrow, unimpressed. "And if I say I won't move?"
"Then I challenge you to a duel. If I win, you pack up your treasure and other things and move to an area less hostile to you. If you win, I'll apologize for wasting your time, and I'll go slaughter the peasants until they give me what I want, then I'll thank them and resume slaughtering them until they're all dead." I say this, hoping she'll fall for my bluff.
"I can't tell if you're serious about that last part or not. Wouldn't it get me bad publicity if you did that? They'd think I enslaved you and made you do it. You'd be giving The Order more propaganda to use. From the look of you, your tone, and what I sense, you're not the type that'd do that. Instead, you'd be vehemently against giving The Order more lies to use."
Damn it! She saw through me! My only hope is being able to beat her in the duel. "Well then, the duel. Do you accept?"
"Yes."
"Good. Let me get ready. These clothes make it hard to move in battle." I take off my robe and wizard hat, and the rest of my clothes, except for my leather boots.
"What the hell are you doing!? Why are you getting naked!?" She yells in surprised protest, her face getting redder by the second.
"Because this'll allow me to fight you at my best." I'm lying, but she might not know that. In actuality, I'm going to fight her naked so that my well-defined muscles and ever-hardening meat-rod might distract her, giving me an advantage or an opportunity to win.
Unconvinced, but not about to back down from my challenge, she assumes a hand-to-hand fighting stance. "Let's get this over with." He tone indicated that she was irritated by my intent to fight naked. That's good, though, since I expected to be in the middle of an inferno right about now. Also, she keeps glancing at my dick, so I guess that part of the plan is also working.
I take up a hand-to-hand stance, with another part of me being half-hard. She's incredibly beautiful and sexy, and I've got a fetish for scaly women, anyway, especially Dragons. If I get a full boner, it'll be difficult to fight. Maybe I should have kept my boxer-briefs on after all...
She inhales. I get ready to cast a Fire Shield spell. She doesn't do what I expect. She yells, "Ready!? GO!!"
Caught off-guard for a moment, I'm unable to evade or block her punch. She nails me right in the forehead, one of her scales on her fist giving me a small cut. To my surprise, I'm not sent into the wall at high speed, nor am I sent flying out of her cave, sailing over the horizon, but before that fact sinks in, I react by casting Damned at point-blank. She's completely unaffected.
"Did you really think a fire spell would work on a Dragon?"
"No."
"Then why'd you do it?"
"Reflex."
"I see. It might have worked against most others, so I guess it's admirable that you've developed such reflexes."
"Thanks. Prismatic Missile!"
I cast Prismatic Missile. She gets hit by all the crystals of light, but is still unaffected.
She raises an eyebrow. I respond with a nervous smile and a statement of the apparent obvious. "I guess Dragons are immune to magic?"
"A lot of us are. I am, as you've just found out. So, what now, naked wizard? You didn't lose consciousness when I punched you, which means that you're not as squishy as most wizards, and you're tougher than a lot of warriors, too."
"Uh, well, I guess I'll use magic to reinforce my body so I can fight you physically at a more equal level."
"That would be smart."
She jumps away, landing gracefully several feet away from me. Due to the close encounter with her, I've got a full erection. She sees it, and it only makes her smile proudly, even though her face got redder, too. Obviously, knowing that she's the reason for my boner has enlarged her ego. I expect prouder, more haughty behavior.
I buff myself with spells, causing my body to glow slightly. I smile confidently and rush her. She decides to charge at me, too. Our battle turns into a slug-fest, with us not really making any attempt to block, evade, or counter the other's strikes. We only hit each other with reckless abandon. After a full minute-and-a-half of punching each other, I try an open-palm strike. She redirects my hand at the last second, and it ends up on her breast. She looks at my hand, then at me with an angry, offended look.
"You dare grab me there, HUMAN!?"
"Oh, shit..."
She inhales, with some fire coming out of her mouth as she prepares to shoot a fireball from her mouth. I jump away in a panic.
"I'm sorry! I didn't mean to!"
Not caring to listen to my apologies, she launches the fireball at me. I cast Danjig, using it to absorb and shoot the fireball away, in what I thought was a harmless direction. Turns out, her fireball was more powerful than I expected. I thought it'd be fine if it hit the ceiling, and that it'd just dissipate after a loud boom or something. Wrong. It caused part of the ceiling to cave in and fall right on top of her, burying her in the rubble.
Horrified at my accident, I rush over to her and start digging her out. "I'm sorry! Are you okay!?"
I uncover her head. She groans. I get enough of the rubble off of her to allow her to get up, getting herself out of the pile the rest of the way. She puts one hand on her head.
I grab her by the shoulders and look at her. "Are you alright? I didn't mean to do that."
I cast a few healing spells on us both. She finally speaks. "You've beaten me."
"I have?"
"Yes. Redirecting my attack and using it against me, as well as using the environment, is acceptable. You say you didn't mean to, but you might have subconsciously thought to do what you did to win. I commend you."
After a few seconds of letting the knowledge of my victory sink in, I say, "So, what now? I've beaten you, which means that as per the conditions of our duel, and for your own safety, you have to move. I'm sorry, but I don't want those morons to hurt you. Where will you go?"
She looks at me, this time without any trace of superiority. "You've beaten me and proven yourself worthy of my hand in marriage. As soon as you get your clothes back on, we'll head for the nearest area of demon realm territory and get married. I'll move in with you."
Awestruck and speechless at this uncharacteristically good fortune, I am unable to stop looking at her, let alone say anything.
She blushes. "What? Why do you stare? Does the idea of a Dragon for a wife displease you?"
Snapping to, I stammer in my response. "N-no, that's not it! It-it's just, wow, you know? I mean, I never thought I would ever be worthy of a Dragon, and now that this has happened, I... I just-"
"You don't know whether to shit or go blind?" she asks, somewhat amused.
"Uh, yeah. Pretty much. What will I tell the villagers?"
She blushes and hesitantly replies, "We'll tell them you tamed me. That should give you one hell of an image to them, riding on my back as I take you back down there, with you telling them that. Don't you think?"
After a few seconds, I nod. I put my clothes back on and she and I pack her things, something made incredibly quick and easy, since she has a bag of holding, and we step outside. She turns into her full-Dragon form. I stare at her with amazement until she snaps me out of it.
"Get on."
I nod and climb onto her back, carrying her bag of holding, which contains all of her belongings. She flies us down to the village. At first, the villagers run in terror, but after she lands and they see me on her back, they gaze in wonder. The "leader" of the village cautiously approaches. I drop down from her back.
"What's going on, here?" he asks.
I proudly smile. "After one hell of a battle, I managed to tame her. She was harmless before, but now you have no worries at all, because she's coming with me."
Some of the other villagers start whispering to each other, calling me "Dragon Tamer" and stuff. Nonsense, but I'm not going to correct them.
The head of the village gives me the ridiculously small sum of gold, but more importantly, he gives me the information I wanted. He asked us to attend a feast in my honor, but I told him that my quest was time-sensitive and that I was barely on-schedule. With that, my new Dragon wife and I flew off.
"So where's this demon realm territory?" I ask.
"Don't worry. I'll take you there."
We continue flying toward where we'll officially become husband and wife.
Here's the alternate version. This one is canon with my "internet persona" character, and the actual events will be written in detail MUCH later on, once I get to that point in my as-of-yet unwritten "character origin" story. This version is in third-person perspective, with a twist.
The Wizard Who Fought a Dragon Naked (alternate version)
Spoiler: show
As Sol walked along the mountain path, he once again replayed in his mind his conversation with the chief of the village at the foot of the mountain. The village chief had told him to "run the Dragon off". From the man's tone, Sol could tell that the man implied using violence, possibly hoping that he'd kill said Dragon. Sol was a strange one, though. He usually preferred to minimize violence, damage, and casualties, especially to monster girls, but when it came to members of The Order, he set aside such peaceful preferences and enjoyed slaughtering them. He intended to try to talk the Dragon into moving. Failing that, he'd challenge her to a duel with the condition being that if he won, she'd leave. Confident in his plan, he sped up.
Along the way, he came across a Lamia village and confirmed that he was headed in the right direction. After another hour or two of walking, he found the cave in which the Dragon resided. Now, you might already know that he's mostly a mage, which means he can fly and teleport and stuff, but he was conserving his energy. Why? Because even though he's an Incubus, he knew that if he had to fight the Dragon, it'd take the bulk of his power just to ensure his survival, as Dragons are powerful. He took a deep breath and steeled himself, then entered her cave.
Inside, he found her counting her treasure. He made no attempt whatsoever to sneak or anything, for he was here to talk. As he got closer, he could hear her enchanting voice as she mumbled, "...22 rubies, 14 diamonds, 53 emeralds, 1,936,294 gold coins..."
He noticed that she had not noticed him, despite his louder than normal footsteps, intentionally made so to alert her to his presence. Rather than interrupt her and invoke her fury, he patiently stood there and waited for her to finish.
"...and an ancient book on various herbs... Done." She turned around and saw him, then tensed up a little. "Who are you and why are you here?"
He held up his hands in front of him and said, "Calm down, I'm not a thief. My name is Sol. It's nice to meet you, ma'am."
As she got up, Sol got a full view of her beautiful, elegant, magnificent body and figure. Everything about her was perfectly proportioned. She approached him and looked him over, sizing him up. He extended his hand to shake, which she cautiously did. "My name is Agatha. If you're not here to die trying to rob me, what are you here for, Incubus?"
Sol couldn't help but snicker at her comment. Indeed, anyone dumb enough to try to rob a Dragon would most likely meet a swift end. "You know of the village at the foot of this mountain, correct? The village chief hired me to 'run you off'. Since I'm no fan of unnecessary violence toward anyone but The Order, I've decided to exploit his wording and try to convince you to leave for your own safety."
She scoffed. "You're being pretty forward. What'll happen if I don't?"
Sol gave her a sad, serious look. "If you don't leave, I'm afraid one of those idiots will try to kill you, possibly in your sleep. They are obviously terrified of you, and since you're a Dragon, one of the most powerful beings on the planet, they probably should be. Still, since they'd never accept the truth that they have nothing to fear as long as they leave you alone, you must leave. I'd prefer to talk you into leaving so that you can find somewhere better, a place that doesn't have fearful fools that want you dead."
Agatha turned her head. "This is my home. I refuse to leave. You won't talk me into moving, Incubus. And all of your subtle and not-so-subtle compliments and praise? How do I know you're not just trying to talk your way into my bed? I can see where your wandering eyes go. You're staring at me, mostly at my breasts and thighs. I see a bulge in your pants that's only getting bigger. Well?"
He grinned nervously and said, "Forgive me, but with looks like yours, I can't help it. Any man that didn't react to you in this way would have to be gay. Anyway, back to why I'm here. Like I said, for your own safety, you should move. I'd consider it an honor and a favor if you did so, and I'd even help you."
Agatha frowned at him. "And as I said, I'm not moving. Compliment me all you want, lust after me to your heart's content, but I'm not moving. Oh, and if you make any sexual advances on me, I'll kill you."
Sol sighed and let his shoulders droop. "Then how about this? I challenge you to a duel. If I win, you have to move. If you win, you may do as you please."
She considered his offer and challenge for a second. "The sooner we get this over with, the sooner you'll shut up and leave?"
"Yes."
"Then I accept. Ready yourself, for I will not hold back."
Sol nodded, then walked over to the wall of her cave and took off his cloak. He also took off all of his other clothes. When she saw that he was getting naked, she yelled, "What the hell are you doing!? Why are you getting naked!? Are you trying to mock me!? I told you not to make any sexual advances on me! Do you want me to kill you!?"
As he assumed his fighting stance, now completely naked with his deflated-to-half-hard penis in full view, he said, "I'm not making any sexual advances on you. I don't intend for any such thing to happen, either. It may sound strange coming from an Incubus, but it's the truth. I got naked because those clothes are the only set I have with me, and I don't want them getting cut, torn, ripped, or shredded by your horns or claws. I'm sorry if this disturbs you, but too bad. Now, let's begin."
Agatha gave him an angry look that could stop the heart of any normal man, then raised her clawed hands menacingly. "Very well, then. Try not to die, okay?"
He nodded. "You certainly don't need an angry mob, possibly made of Order knights, sweeping in here to kill you. But don't worry, I won't die. I'm a fairly skilled mage, after all." With that, he grinned confidently and charged her.
She charged at him as well, and the two met with great force, their hands together with one another's, their fingers interlocked as they pushed and shoved, trying to overpower one another. Agatha noticed a faint glow emitting from Sol's body. "Heh, so you've used some sort of strength-enhancing spell? That's the only way you could match a Dragon's strength, so I guess it's reasonable."
Sol grunted with effort as he pushed against her might. "Obviously. No human without magical enhancement could ever hope to match a Dragon in strength, or anything else that's physical, for that matter."
She quickly let go and spun around, hitting him with her tail, sending him flying into the wall with great force. She looked and was suddenly slightly worried. She hoped that she hadn't killed him, because she knew that if he did, she'd have to leave anyway to avoid the inevitable retribution from the village, possibly backed by The Order. Her worry dissipated when she saw him stand back up. "You okay? Didn't hit ya too hard, did I?"
Sol scoffed as his healing spell did its work. "It's a damn good thing I've got these hard-earned reflexes. If I didn't, your tail-whip would have probably liquified my internal organs due to me not being able to cast Shield quickly enough. Instead, you only shattered most of my ribs, which are almost mended now. I'm not about to give up, so don't even suggest it. Remember, Agatha, that I'm doing this for your sake. I want you to move so you don't get murdered by intolerant, xenophobic, fearful morons."
In her mind, she sighed with relief, but on the surface, she scoffed and gave him an arrogant smirk. "Then you'll have to win, won't you? If you're all healed up, let's continue!"
With that, they charged each other again. Sol used Haste to meet her farther away from the wall, as well as slam into her with enough force to make her step back. They then began a slugfest, punching each other about the head and body with reckless abandon, neither of them even trying to block or dodge the punches. They caused a great deal of damage to each other with their punches, too. After a full 45 seconds of mutual abuse, they jumped backward, away from each other. Agatha's body was covered in bruises and her face was beginning to swell, but because she was a Dragon, her body was much stronger than that of a human's. None of her bones were even cracked. Sol, on the other hand, was in really rough shape. His jaw was shattered despite his Shield spell, and his ribs were broken again. He also thought that one of his lungs had either collapsed or burst. He was bleeding badly from multiple cuts, some from Agatha's scales, some just from being hit hard enough. Were it not for his Shield spell, he'd be nothing more than a dead bag of flesh, blood, and powdered bones.
She stared at him in amazement, wondering how he was still conscious. "Because of your magic you're still alive, but how are you not out cold?"
Sol coughed up some blood, then healed himself again. His lung re-inflated, confirming his earlier suspicion, his ribs mended again, his jaw reformed, and all of his bleeding, both external and internal, stopped. This whole process took about 3 minutes, which Agatha mercifully gave him out of self-interest, but also a little concern for him. He was starting to earn her respect due to his determination and resilience.
Sol, now able to speak again, said, "I guess I'm that hard-headed. Now, will you do as I ask or must I break my bones on your fist yet again?"
She frowned. "That's not funny. Just out of curiosity, what spells have you been using to heal yourself?"
"Regeneration, Rapid Regenerate, and Heal Legendary Wounds. Why?"
"Nothing. Shall we continue?"
Sol nodded and the fight resumed. He kept Shield active while using Haste to run around her, looking for an opening.
Seeing his change in tactics, she scoffed. "Trying a hit-and-run strategy now? I suppose it's smarter than what you've been doing."
As he ran circles around her, he tried casting Firebolt, Fireball, and Explosion, none of which actually hit, as she simply swatted them out of the air, then blocked Explosion with an explosive shot from her flame-breath, causing the two to cancel each other out. Next, he tried Icebolt, Ice Spike, and Tankad. She simply swatted the Icebolt out of the air, sidestepped the spikes from Ice Spike, and melted the projectiles of Tankad with her flame-breath.
Seeing that his ranged magic wasn't doing any good, he channeled a great deal of magic energy into his fists and rushed her, unleashing all the pent-up energy with one punch from each fist. This actually staggered her. He tried to follow up with an open-palm-strike to her chest, but she shifted at the last moment and slow his strike by grabbing his arm. This ended with his hand on her breast. They looked at each other awkwardly for a second, then looked at his hand on her breast. They then looked back at each other, him with an apologetic look and her with one of unbridled rage. He saw the flames gathering in her mouth as she formed the most powerful fireball she could. He jumped away and focused, timing his next spell as well as he could.
When she released her fireball, he cast Danjig, causing the ice mirror to appear just in time to deflect her fireball into the ceiling, which then collapsed onto her, burying her in a large pile of rocks of varying sizes.
Without trying to catch his breath, he rushed over to the pile and began digging her out. "Are you okay!? Talk to me!" he shouted in a panic as he rolled and threw rocks off the pile. He was about to try to use Telekinesis to move some of them when she burst out of the pile on her own, some blood trickling down her swollen face.
She looked at him with shame and self-derision. "You've won. I can't fight any longer due to this pain, and your act of reflecting my fireball into the ceiling, thus collapsing it on me, was the final blow. I hope you're happy with yourself."
Sol put his hand on her shoulder. "Hey, you were the toughest fight I've ever had. Were it not for the luck I had at the end, you'd have probably outlasted me. Now, let me heal you."
She nodded and sat there obediently as he used Regeneration and Rapid Regenerate on her, completely healing her within 2 minutes. She said, "I'm surprised you still have enough energy to cast anything. Do Incubi really have that much spirit energy?"
Sol shrugged. "I don't know. I know I do, but I worked for it. For a few decades, I obsessively practiced magic, pushing myself as hard as I could, repeatedly overexerting myself and passing out. My constant hard work paid off, as you can see. I've got a little more for another spell or two, but I don't think I'll need to cast anything else for a while. Anyway, the pain's gone, right?"
"Yes. I'm now left with a problem, though. I have to leave, and I don't have any place picked out to move to, which means I'll be homeless until I find somewhere to live."
"How about you move in with me, at least until you find a place?"
His offer was the last straw. She felt something inside her change and began looking at him in a favorable light. "What if... What if I wanted to move in with you permanently?"
Sol paused for a second, trying to figure out if that meant what he thought it did. "That'd be great. Is that what you want?"
She nodded, tears gathering in her eyes. She then tackled him, wrapping her arms around him, ignoring the fact that he was naked and that his penis was pressed against her belly. "Thank you. You name was 'Sol', right? Will you accept me as your wife?"
After recovering from the unexpected glomp, Sol said, "Of course I will."
Agatha let go and stood up, helping him to his feet. "I know of a Sea Bishop not too far from here. After we've packed up, we should get married."
Sol nodded. "Well, first I have to go back to the village and let them know that you're no longer a threat, even though you never were. After that, we can do so, okay?"
She agreed. Sol got dressed and they began packing her things into a Bag of Holding she had, then they left. Once outside the cave, she asked, "I know you're tired from our fight, and you're low on spirit energy, plus we've already packed away my bed, so I won't ask for sex right now, but will you be up to it after we get hitched?"
Sol shrugged. "Well, I can regenerate my spirit energy pretty quickly, and I know a couple of spells for restoring physical energy, so I think we'll be alright in that regard. One thing you forgot, though, is that we also need to finish my business in the village."
Fully understanding, Agatha transformed into her full-Dragon form. "Get on. I'll fly you down, then I'll take you to the Sea Bishop when you're done."
Without further words, he got on her back and she flew him down the mountain to the village.
As they approached, the villagers panicked, seeing the terrifying form of the Dragon-beast swooping in. Those that didn't soil themselves in fear saved it for after the Dragon landed, which allowed them to see that Sol was riding it. He got off and approached the village chief. "Well, your Dragon problem is over. After a hard fight, I tamed her, so I'm taking her with me."
The village chief looked at Sol in awe and said, "Incredible. How about you stay for a feast?"
Sol shook his head. "I've got other things I need to do, and they're time-sensitive. I have to go."
Disappointed, the village chief announced that they'd celebrate with a feast, but the hero of the hour would be absent.
Sol got back on Agatha's back and she took off, flying high into the sky. She said, "You didn't tame me, you won me over."
"I know, but in that situation, to avoid any more heat from The Order, it's best to lie a little and get me some positive publicity. Anyway, you're reasonably safe now, so we should relax, get married, and enjoy our honeymoon."
"You're right. Anyway, we should be there in about an hour. How does it feel, knowing you're about to become a Dragon's husband?"
Sol smiled from ear to ear. "It feels good. Not only did I win the respect of one of the most powerful beings in existence, but I also won her love. If I were rested and not riding on your back, I'd probably be jumping up and down, displaying some sort of outburst of joy."
She smiled, which would have looked scary to anyone uneducated in the previous events, due to her being in her Dragon-beast form.
As if able to read each other's minds, they simultaneously said, "Onwards, to our bright future together!" and flew off to get started on their new romance.
*Scene shift to inside a tavern, with people clapping as the bard finishes his tale*
Unable to stand much more, I get up. "That's not how it happened at all!"
The bard replies, "True, but this version makes you sound more valiant and heroic."
I facepalm. "Damn bards, always twisting stuff..."
One of the patrons who was listening to the story asks me, "You're Sol? How did it really go, then?"
I sigh, ready to set everyone straight on the very underwhelming truth. "Well, if it had happened that way, Agatha would be here with me right now, or I'd be at home with her, so obviously we didn't get married. Truth is, it went almost exactly as my acquaintance told, up until her refusing to leave from my asking. Sure, I challenged her, but it wasn't to a duel. What it was, as embarrassing as it is to admit, was a best-of-three series of games. We started with Checkers, which she destroyed me at. Next was Go Fish, which I won. Finally, we played Old Maid, and I won again. Fortunately, she was a very good sport and accepted her losses gracefully. I helped her move into a far-away Lizardman village, and she stayed there for a while before finding a suitable place and moving away. I haven't heard from her since."
One of the other patrons got up shaking his head in disbelief. "Beating a Dragon at card games for that... Don't that just beat all?" He walked toward the bar, followed by several other patrons. The rest left the tavern.
The bard got up off his stool and walked over to me. "See? You tell them the real version and they walk away grumbling. My version is better as a story, okay?"
I wave him off. "Yeah, yeah..." I then walk away, exit the tavern, and head for the inn.
Along the way, he came across a Lamia village and confirmed that he was headed in the right direction. After another hour or two of walking, he found the cave in which the Dragon resided. Now, you might already know that he's mostly a mage, which means he can fly and teleport and stuff, but he was conserving his energy. Why? Because even though he's an Incubus, he knew that if he had to fight the Dragon, it'd take the bulk of his power just to ensure his survival, as Dragons are powerful. He took a deep breath and steeled himself, then entered her cave.
Inside, he found her counting her treasure. He made no attempt whatsoever to sneak or anything, for he was here to talk. As he got closer, he could hear her enchanting voice as she mumbled, "...22 rubies, 14 diamonds, 53 emeralds, 1,936,294 gold coins..."
He noticed that she had not noticed him, despite his louder than normal footsteps, intentionally made so to alert her to his presence. Rather than interrupt her and invoke her fury, he patiently stood there and waited for her to finish.
"...and an ancient book on various herbs... Done." She turned around and saw him, then tensed up a little. "Who are you and why are you here?"
He held up his hands in front of him and said, "Calm down, I'm not a thief. My name is Sol. It's nice to meet you, ma'am."
As she got up, Sol got a full view of her beautiful, elegant, magnificent body and figure. Everything about her was perfectly proportioned. She approached him and looked him over, sizing him up. He extended his hand to shake, which she cautiously did. "My name is Agatha. If you're not here to die trying to rob me, what are you here for, Incubus?"
Sol couldn't help but snicker at her comment. Indeed, anyone dumb enough to try to rob a Dragon would most likely meet a swift end. "You know of the village at the foot of this mountain, correct? The village chief hired me to 'run you off'. Since I'm no fan of unnecessary violence toward anyone but The Order, I've decided to exploit his wording and try to convince you to leave for your own safety."
She scoffed. "You're being pretty forward. What'll happen if I don't?"
Sol gave her a sad, serious look. "If you don't leave, I'm afraid one of those idiots will try to kill you, possibly in your sleep. They are obviously terrified of you, and since you're a Dragon, one of the most powerful beings on the planet, they probably should be. Still, since they'd never accept the truth that they have nothing to fear as long as they leave you alone, you must leave. I'd prefer to talk you into leaving so that you can find somewhere better, a place that doesn't have fearful fools that want you dead."
Agatha turned her head. "This is my home. I refuse to leave. You won't talk me into moving, Incubus. And all of your subtle and not-so-subtle compliments and praise? How do I know you're not just trying to talk your way into my bed? I can see where your wandering eyes go. You're staring at me, mostly at my breasts and thighs. I see a bulge in your pants that's only getting bigger. Well?"
He grinned nervously and said, "Forgive me, but with looks like yours, I can't help it. Any man that didn't react to you in this way would have to be gay. Anyway, back to why I'm here. Like I said, for your own safety, you should move. I'd consider it an honor and a favor if you did so, and I'd even help you."
Agatha frowned at him. "And as I said, I'm not moving. Compliment me all you want, lust after me to your heart's content, but I'm not moving. Oh, and if you make any sexual advances on me, I'll kill you."
Sol sighed and let his shoulders droop. "Then how about this? I challenge you to a duel. If I win, you have to move. If you win, you may do as you please."
She considered his offer and challenge for a second. "The sooner we get this over with, the sooner you'll shut up and leave?"
"Yes."
"Then I accept. Ready yourself, for I will not hold back."
Sol nodded, then walked over to the wall of her cave and took off his cloak. He also took off all of his other clothes. When she saw that he was getting naked, she yelled, "What the hell are you doing!? Why are you getting naked!? Are you trying to mock me!? I told you not to make any sexual advances on me! Do you want me to kill you!?"
As he assumed his fighting stance, now completely naked with his deflated-to-half-hard penis in full view, he said, "I'm not making any sexual advances on you. I don't intend for any such thing to happen, either. It may sound strange coming from an Incubus, but it's the truth. I got naked because those clothes are the only set I have with me, and I don't want them getting cut, torn, ripped, or shredded by your horns or claws. I'm sorry if this disturbs you, but too bad. Now, let's begin."
Agatha gave him an angry look that could stop the heart of any normal man, then raised her clawed hands menacingly. "Very well, then. Try not to die, okay?"
He nodded. "You certainly don't need an angry mob, possibly made of Order knights, sweeping in here to kill you. But don't worry, I won't die. I'm a fairly skilled mage, after all." With that, he grinned confidently and charged her.
She charged at him as well, and the two met with great force, their hands together with one another's, their fingers interlocked as they pushed and shoved, trying to overpower one another. Agatha noticed a faint glow emitting from Sol's body. "Heh, so you've used some sort of strength-enhancing spell? That's the only way you could match a Dragon's strength, so I guess it's reasonable."
Sol grunted with effort as he pushed against her might. "Obviously. No human without magical enhancement could ever hope to match a Dragon in strength, or anything else that's physical, for that matter."
She quickly let go and spun around, hitting him with her tail, sending him flying into the wall with great force. She looked and was suddenly slightly worried. She hoped that she hadn't killed him, because she knew that if he did, she'd have to leave anyway to avoid the inevitable retribution from the village, possibly backed by The Order. Her worry dissipated when she saw him stand back up. "You okay? Didn't hit ya too hard, did I?"
Sol scoffed as his healing spell did its work. "It's a damn good thing I've got these hard-earned reflexes. If I didn't, your tail-whip would have probably liquified my internal organs due to me not being able to cast Shield quickly enough. Instead, you only shattered most of my ribs, which are almost mended now. I'm not about to give up, so don't even suggest it. Remember, Agatha, that I'm doing this for your sake. I want you to move so you don't get murdered by intolerant, xenophobic, fearful morons."
In her mind, she sighed with relief, but on the surface, she scoffed and gave him an arrogant smirk. "Then you'll have to win, won't you? If you're all healed up, let's continue!"
With that, they charged each other again. Sol used Haste to meet her farther away from the wall, as well as slam into her with enough force to make her step back. They then began a slugfest, punching each other about the head and body with reckless abandon, neither of them even trying to block or dodge the punches. They caused a great deal of damage to each other with their punches, too. After a full 45 seconds of mutual abuse, they jumped backward, away from each other. Agatha's body was covered in bruises and her face was beginning to swell, but because she was a Dragon, her body was much stronger than that of a human's. None of her bones were even cracked. Sol, on the other hand, was in really rough shape. His jaw was shattered despite his Shield spell, and his ribs were broken again. He also thought that one of his lungs had either collapsed or burst. He was bleeding badly from multiple cuts, some from Agatha's scales, some just from being hit hard enough. Were it not for his Shield spell, he'd be nothing more than a dead bag of flesh, blood, and powdered bones.
She stared at him in amazement, wondering how he was still conscious. "Because of your magic you're still alive, but how are you not out cold?"
Sol coughed up some blood, then healed himself again. His lung re-inflated, confirming his earlier suspicion, his ribs mended again, his jaw reformed, and all of his bleeding, both external and internal, stopped. This whole process took about 3 minutes, which Agatha mercifully gave him out of self-interest, but also a little concern for him. He was starting to earn her respect due to his determination and resilience.
Sol, now able to speak again, said, "I guess I'm that hard-headed. Now, will you do as I ask or must I break my bones on your fist yet again?"
She frowned. "That's not funny. Just out of curiosity, what spells have you been using to heal yourself?"
"Regeneration, Rapid Regenerate, and Heal Legendary Wounds. Why?"
"Nothing. Shall we continue?"
Sol nodded and the fight resumed. He kept Shield active while using Haste to run around her, looking for an opening.
Seeing his change in tactics, she scoffed. "Trying a hit-and-run strategy now? I suppose it's smarter than what you've been doing."
As he ran circles around her, he tried casting Firebolt, Fireball, and Explosion, none of which actually hit, as she simply swatted them out of the air, then blocked Explosion with an explosive shot from her flame-breath, causing the two to cancel each other out. Next, he tried Icebolt, Ice Spike, and Tankad. She simply swatted the Icebolt out of the air, sidestepped the spikes from Ice Spike, and melted the projectiles of Tankad with her flame-breath.
Seeing that his ranged magic wasn't doing any good, he channeled a great deal of magic energy into his fists and rushed her, unleashing all the pent-up energy with one punch from each fist. This actually staggered her. He tried to follow up with an open-palm-strike to her chest, but she shifted at the last moment and slow his strike by grabbing his arm. This ended with his hand on her breast. They looked at each other awkwardly for a second, then looked at his hand on her breast. They then looked back at each other, him with an apologetic look and her with one of unbridled rage. He saw the flames gathering in her mouth as she formed the most powerful fireball she could. He jumped away and focused, timing his next spell as well as he could.
When she released her fireball, he cast Danjig, causing the ice mirror to appear just in time to deflect her fireball into the ceiling, which then collapsed onto her, burying her in a large pile of rocks of varying sizes.
Without trying to catch his breath, he rushed over to the pile and began digging her out. "Are you okay!? Talk to me!" he shouted in a panic as he rolled and threw rocks off the pile. He was about to try to use Telekinesis to move some of them when she burst out of the pile on her own, some blood trickling down her swollen face.
She looked at him with shame and self-derision. "You've won. I can't fight any longer due to this pain, and your act of reflecting my fireball into the ceiling, thus collapsing it on me, was the final blow. I hope you're happy with yourself."
Sol put his hand on her shoulder. "Hey, you were the toughest fight I've ever had. Were it not for the luck I had at the end, you'd have probably outlasted me. Now, let me heal you."
She nodded and sat there obediently as he used Regeneration and Rapid Regenerate on her, completely healing her within 2 minutes. She said, "I'm surprised you still have enough energy to cast anything. Do Incubi really have that much spirit energy?"
Sol shrugged. "I don't know. I know I do, but I worked for it. For a few decades, I obsessively practiced magic, pushing myself as hard as I could, repeatedly overexerting myself and passing out. My constant hard work paid off, as you can see. I've got a little more for another spell or two, but I don't think I'll need to cast anything else for a while. Anyway, the pain's gone, right?"
"Yes. I'm now left with a problem, though. I have to leave, and I don't have any place picked out to move to, which means I'll be homeless until I find somewhere to live."
"How about you move in with me, at least until you find a place?"
His offer was the last straw. She felt something inside her change and began looking at him in a favorable light. "What if... What if I wanted to move in with you permanently?"
Sol paused for a second, trying to figure out if that meant what he thought it did. "That'd be great. Is that what you want?"
She nodded, tears gathering in her eyes. She then tackled him, wrapping her arms around him, ignoring the fact that he was naked and that his penis was pressed against her belly. "Thank you. You name was 'Sol', right? Will you accept me as your wife?"
After recovering from the unexpected glomp, Sol said, "Of course I will."
Agatha let go and stood up, helping him to his feet. "I know of a Sea Bishop not too far from here. After we've packed up, we should get married."
Sol nodded. "Well, first I have to go back to the village and let them know that you're no longer a threat, even though you never were. After that, we can do so, okay?"
She agreed. Sol got dressed and they began packing her things into a Bag of Holding she had, then they left. Once outside the cave, she asked, "I know you're tired from our fight, and you're low on spirit energy, plus we've already packed away my bed, so I won't ask for sex right now, but will you be up to it after we get hitched?"
Sol shrugged. "Well, I can regenerate my spirit energy pretty quickly, and I know a couple of spells for restoring physical energy, so I think we'll be alright in that regard. One thing you forgot, though, is that we also need to finish my business in the village."
Fully understanding, Agatha transformed into her full-Dragon form. "Get on. I'll fly you down, then I'll take you to the Sea Bishop when you're done."
Without further words, he got on her back and she flew him down the mountain to the village.
As they approached, the villagers panicked, seeing the terrifying form of the Dragon-beast swooping in. Those that didn't soil themselves in fear saved it for after the Dragon landed, which allowed them to see that Sol was riding it. He got off and approached the village chief. "Well, your Dragon problem is over. After a hard fight, I tamed her, so I'm taking her with me."
The village chief looked at Sol in awe and said, "Incredible. How about you stay for a feast?"
Sol shook his head. "I've got other things I need to do, and they're time-sensitive. I have to go."
Disappointed, the village chief announced that they'd celebrate with a feast, but the hero of the hour would be absent.
Sol got back on Agatha's back and she took off, flying high into the sky. She said, "You didn't tame me, you won me over."
"I know, but in that situation, to avoid any more heat from The Order, it's best to lie a little and get me some positive publicity. Anyway, you're reasonably safe now, so we should relax, get married, and enjoy our honeymoon."
"You're right. Anyway, we should be there in about an hour. How does it feel, knowing you're about to become a Dragon's husband?"
Sol smiled from ear to ear. "It feels good. Not only did I win the respect of one of the most powerful beings in existence, but I also won her love. If I were rested and not riding on your back, I'd probably be jumping up and down, displaying some sort of outburst of joy."
She smiled, which would have looked scary to anyone uneducated in the previous events, due to her being in her Dragon-beast form.
As if able to read each other's minds, they simultaneously said, "Onwards, to our bright future together!" and flew off to get started on their new romance.
*Scene shift to inside a tavern, with people clapping as the bard finishes his tale*
Unable to stand much more, I get up. "That's not how it happened at all!"
The bard replies, "True, but this version makes you sound more valiant and heroic."
I facepalm. "Damn bards, always twisting stuff..."
One of the patrons who was listening to the story asks me, "You're Sol? How did it really go, then?"
I sigh, ready to set everyone straight on the very underwhelming truth. "Well, if it had happened that way, Agatha would be here with me right now, or I'd be at home with her, so obviously we didn't get married. Truth is, it went almost exactly as my acquaintance told, up until her refusing to leave from my asking. Sure, I challenged her, but it wasn't to a duel. What it was, as embarrassing as it is to admit, was a best-of-three series of games. We started with Checkers, which she destroyed me at. Next was Go Fish, which I won. Finally, we played Old Maid, and I won again. Fortunately, she was a very good sport and accepted her losses gracefully. I helped her move into a far-away Lizardman village, and she stayed there for a while before finding a suitable place and moving away. I haven't heard from her since."
One of the other patrons got up shaking his head in disbelief. "Beating a Dragon at card games for that... Don't that just beat all?" He walked toward the bar, followed by several other patrons. The rest left the tavern.
The bard got up off his stool and walked over to me. "See? You tell them the real version and they walk away grumbling. My version is better as a story, okay?"
I wave him off. "Yeah, yeah..." I then walk away, exit the tavern, and head for the inn.
Here's a story I thought up a little while ago. The characters are a Dragon, a princess, and an expy of BRIAN BLESSED. The Brian Blessed expy looks just like him in his late 20s. The princess is the typical kind-hearted, friend-to-all-living-things girl, though she's no stranger to sarcasm. She looks like your generic blond cutie with knee-length hair. The Dragon looks just like the MGE profile, but with more human-sized and shaped hands and feet. The names are meaningful, too. Let the ham begin!
The Dragon, the Princess, and the Ham.
Spoiler: show
Out in the middle of nowhere, a very pretty, somewhat young Dragon (young for a Dragon, that is) named Ermentrude lived in a tower (she bought it or something, don't ask). She kept watch over a nigh-invincible hero named Brian through her crystal ball (don't ask). He was valorous and strong. After months of watching him, she fell in love.
One day, she learned that he would be passing through the sort-of-nearby kingdom. She knew that his path would then lead him in the exact opposite direction of her tower. She wanted to see him in person, and possibly confess her love, so badly that she formulated a not-so-smart, desperate plan to get him to visit. She decided she would kidnap Almira, the princess of the kingdom. She figured that since Brian was there, the king would turn to him to rescue the princess, thus causing him to have to come to the tower.
She watched the princess for a few days, found a pattern in her activities, and timed it just right so that she could kidnap the princess during her walk in the royal garden. Her timing also ended up with her doing this just as Brian arrived in the outskirts around the king's castle. Ermentrude knew that it would take Brian 3 days to get to her tower on foot. In that time, she could apologize to the princess, explain herself, and possibly get some tips. The princess was too scared to talk while Ermentrude carried her back to her tower. As soon as they arrived, before Almira could say anything, Ermentrude apologized.
"I'm sorry, princess, but I had to do this. There was no other way to get Brian to come here."
Almira asked with a quizzical look, "Why do you want him to come here?"
Ermentrude blushed, put her hands together in front of her, twiddled her fingers, and shyly said, "I'm in love."
The princess nodded, completely understanding everything with just that. "You're not going to hurt me or ask for ransom?"
Ermentrude looked slightly offended. "Of course not! Right now, you're my guest, even if you're an unwilling one. Make yourself at home. We'll have about 3 or 4 days to chat until he gets here, and in that time, I'd like to have your help in making sure I win him over. Will you help me?" she asked with a sickeningly cute, begging look.
Her heartstrings successfully pulled, Almira agreed. During those days they waited for Brian to arrive, the princess taught the Dragon how to bake cookies and prepare feasts that'd surely get his attention.
Meanwhile, at the castle, as soon as the king received word that his daughter had been kidnapped, and that Brian was in the area, he sent word that he urgently requested Brian's presence in the throne room. When Brian arrived, he kneeled before the king.
"MY KING, HOW MAY I SERVE YOU!?"
The king, his expression one of anxiety and his tone one of desperation, pleadingly asked, "Oh great hero, legendary Brian, I beg you, please save my daughter! Who knows what EVILS the Dragon will perform upon her!? I can only assume that the Dragon plans to eat her! Save her before then, please!
"YES, SIR, MY KING! I SHALL GO AT ONCE, FOR TIME IS OF THE ESSENCE! WE HAVE NOT A MOMENT TO SPARE IN THE EFFORT TO SAVE YOUR DAUGHTER, THE PRINCESS ALMIRA!"
Brian ran toward the tower where Ermentrude lived.
During Brian's voyage to the tower, Almira and Ermentrude had become close friends. Ermentrude had learned a lot from her new friend, and they often discussed things that young women tend to discuss. They even had a pillow fight while topless, but that's a story for another day.
Finally, Brian arrived. He had a fairly easy journey to the tower, much easier than he expected.
"SO FAR THERE HAVE BEEN NO ENEMIES! THAT MUST MEAN THAT THE DRAGON IS SO POWERFUL THAT SHE NEEDS NO UNDERLINGS!!! I FEAR I HAVE THE FIGHT OF MY LIFE AHEAD OF ME!"
The two girls were almost done preparing a large feast in his honor when he burst through the door to the living area.
"EVIL DRAGON, I COMMAND YOU TO UNHAND THE PRINCESS OR I SHALL SLAY YOU!!!"
His voice alone shaking the tower, the girls couldn't help but hear him from the kitchen. "It seems your large ham is here, Ermentrude." Almira said.
Squealing with delight, Ermentrude hopped up and down in joy. "He's here! He's here! What am I going to say!? How do I greet him!?"
Almira grabbed her. "Calm yourself. Just greet him like we rehearsed."
Ermentrude took a deep breath and went into the other room.
Brian responded to her appearance with an overly horrified look. "THE DRAGON! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH THE PRINCESS!?"
Ermentrude managed to stay calm despite the presence of her beloved hero. "She's in the kitchen."
Brian put his hands on the sides of his face. "OH, NO!! THE FOUL BEAST IS ABOUT TO COOK AND EAT THE PRINCESS! GOOD THING I ARRIVED WHEN I DID, FOR HAD I BEEN A MOMENT LATE, THE PRINCESS WOULD HAVE BEEN EATEN!!!"
Almira called from the kitchen. "Cookies are ready!"
Brian scrunched his face up in a very quizzical look. "WHAT'S GOING ON HERE!?"
Ermentrude motioned to the large dinner table where all manner of delicious food was laid out. "Please, have a seat. You must be tired from your journey."
Seconds later, Almira walked in with a large tray of fresh chocolate chip cookies. She set the tray on the table, sat down, and waited for Ermentrude and Brian. "Come, sit. Let's eat."
Ermentrude sat down as well, pulling out a chair for Brian. He continued to stand there. As the princess began eating he looked incredibly worried, probably thinking that the food might be poisoned or something. Eventually, the Dragon and the princess managed to explain everything. Brian was in tears. He looked at Ermentrude.
"NEVER BEFORE HAVE I BEEN SO MOVED! TO THINK THAT YOU DID ALL THIS TO GET MY ATTENTION, THAT LOVE DROVE YOU TO COMMIT THESE ACTS JUST TO SEE ME! YOUR LOVE FOR ME MUST BE TRUE, AND WITH TIME I MAY COME TO LOVE YOU AS MUCH! WE'LL RETURN THE PRINCESS TO THE CASTLE AND YOU'LL JOIN ME ON MY GLORIOUS ADVENTURES!"
Everyone ate, the princess read a book, and Ermentrude spent some "quality time" with Brian. The next day, all 3 went to the castle. Ermentrude returned Almira to the castle and apologized to the king. She also explained why she did it. The kind-hearted king, knowing the Dragon did it for love, and that his daughter was unharmed, and even better yet that his daughter had made a new friend, he pardoned the Dragon and all was well again. Ermentrude and Brian went on to have truly epic adventures, save entire continents, and have over 20 children. They were incredibly happy, and their children became great heroes, as well.
One day, she learned that he would be passing through the sort-of-nearby kingdom. She knew that his path would then lead him in the exact opposite direction of her tower. She wanted to see him in person, and possibly confess her love, so badly that she formulated a not-so-smart, desperate plan to get him to visit. She decided she would kidnap Almira, the princess of the kingdom. She figured that since Brian was there, the king would turn to him to rescue the princess, thus causing him to have to come to the tower.
She watched the princess for a few days, found a pattern in her activities, and timed it just right so that she could kidnap the princess during her walk in the royal garden. Her timing also ended up with her doing this just as Brian arrived in the outskirts around the king's castle. Ermentrude knew that it would take Brian 3 days to get to her tower on foot. In that time, she could apologize to the princess, explain herself, and possibly get some tips. The princess was too scared to talk while Ermentrude carried her back to her tower. As soon as they arrived, before Almira could say anything, Ermentrude apologized.
"I'm sorry, princess, but I had to do this. There was no other way to get Brian to come here."
Almira asked with a quizzical look, "Why do you want him to come here?"
Ermentrude blushed, put her hands together in front of her, twiddled her fingers, and shyly said, "I'm in love."
The princess nodded, completely understanding everything with just that. "You're not going to hurt me or ask for ransom?"
Ermentrude looked slightly offended. "Of course not! Right now, you're my guest, even if you're an unwilling one. Make yourself at home. We'll have about 3 or 4 days to chat until he gets here, and in that time, I'd like to have your help in making sure I win him over. Will you help me?" she asked with a sickeningly cute, begging look.
Her heartstrings successfully pulled, Almira agreed. During those days they waited for Brian to arrive, the princess taught the Dragon how to bake cookies and prepare feasts that'd surely get his attention.
Meanwhile, at the castle, as soon as the king received word that his daughter had been kidnapped, and that Brian was in the area, he sent word that he urgently requested Brian's presence in the throne room. When Brian arrived, he kneeled before the king.
"MY KING, HOW MAY I SERVE YOU!?"
The king, his expression one of anxiety and his tone one of desperation, pleadingly asked, "Oh great hero, legendary Brian, I beg you, please save my daughter! Who knows what EVILS the Dragon will perform upon her!? I can only assume that the Dragon plans to eat her! Save her before then, please!
"YES, SIR, MY KING! I SHALL GO AT ONCE, FOR TIME IS OF THE ESSENCE! WE HAVE NOT A MOMENT TO SPARE IN THE EFFORT TO SAVE YOUR DAUGHTER, THE PRINCESS ALMIRA!"
Brian ran toward the tower where Ermentrude lived.
During Brian's voyage to the tower, Almira and Ermentrude had become close friends. Ermentrude had learned a lot from her new friend, and they often discussed things that young women tend to discuss. They even had a pillow fight while topless, but that's a story for another day.
Finally, Brian arrived. He had a fairly easy journey to the tower, much easier than he expected.
"SO FAR THERE HAVE BEEN NO ENEMIES! THAT MUST MEAN THAT THE DRAGON IS SO POWERFUL THAT SHE NEEDS NO UNDERLINGS!!! I FEAR I HAVE THE FIGHT OF MY LIFE AHEAD OF ME!"
The two girls were almost done preparing a large feast in his honor when he burst through the door to the living area.
"EVIL DRAGON, I COMMAND YOU TO UNHAND THE PRINCESS OR I SHALL SLAY YOU!!!"
His voice alone shaking the tower, the girls couldn't help but hear him from the kitchen. "It seems your large ham is here, Ermentrude." Almira said.
Squealing with delight, Ermentrude hopped up and down in joy. "He's here! He's here! What am I going to say!? How do I greet him!?"
Almira grabbed her. "Calm yourself. Just greet him like we rehearsed."
Ermentrude took a deep breath and went into the other room.
Brian responded to her appearance with an overly horrified look. "THE DRAGON! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH THE PRINCESS!?"
Ermentrude managed to stay calm despite the presence of her beloved hero. "She's in the kitchen."
Brian put his hands on the sides of his face. "OH, NO!! THE FOUL BEAST IS ABOUT TO COOK AND EAT THE PRINCESS! GOOD THING I ARRIVED WHEN I DID, FOR HAD I BEEN A MOMENT LATE, THE PRINCESS WOULD HAVE BEEN EATEN!!!"
Almira called from the kitchen. "Cookies are ready!"
Brian scrunched his face up in a very quizzical look. "WHAT'S GOING ON HERE!?"
Ermentrude motioned to the large dinner table where all manner of delicious food was laid out. "Please, have a seat. You must be tired from your journey."
Seconds later, Almira walked in with a large tray of fresh chocolate chip cookies. She set the tray on the table, sat down, and waited for Ermentrude and Brian. "Come, sit. Let's eat."
Ermentrude sat down as well, pulling out a chair for Brian. He continued to stand there. As the princess began eating he looked incredibly worried, probably thinking that the food might be poisoned or something. Eventually, the Dragon and the princess managed to explain everything. Brian was in tears. He looked at Ermentrude.
"NEVER BEFORE HAVE I BEEN SO MOVED! TO THINK THAT YOU DID ALL THIS TO GET MY ATTENTION, THAT LOVE DROVE YOU TO COMMIT THESE ACTS JUST TO SEE ME! YOUR LOVE FOR ME MUST BE TRUE, AND WITH TIME I MAY COME TO LOVE YOU AS MUCH! WE'LL RETURN THE PRINCESS TO THE CASTLE AND YOU'LL JOIN ME ON MY GLORIOUS ADVENTURES!"
Everyone ate, the princess read a book, and Ermentrude spent some "quality time" with Brian. The next day, all 3 went to the castle. Ermentrude returned Almira to the castle and apologized to the king. She also explained why she did it. The kind-hearted king, knowing the Dragon did it for love, and that his daughter was unharmed, and even better yet that his daughter had made a new friend, he pardoned the Dragon and all was well again. Ermentrude and Brian went on to have truly epic adventures, save entire continents, and have over 20 children. They were incredibly happy, and their children became great heroes, as well.