Reclamation of another self (Working title)

An old member's return to writing.

Small one off stories and poems can be posted and read here.
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Reclamation of another self (Working title)

Post by DogKama »

Hello everybody, how are you guys today?

It's me DogKama, and the reason for this topic is to..well.. tease an upcoming one-shot I'm currently working. For me its a weird feeling since the last time I posted a story was from our MGU.com days(before TMM) and after such a long break felt the need to contribute once again. The one-shot won't be any NSFW content or ecchi MG story, instead it will have more of a deeper thought behind it. I'm not sure what it is I'm trying to do other than try something different than the norm; once I figure out what exactly that is Ill let you guys know.

Instead of posting one solid wall of story, I'm going to post snip its averaging around 1,500k -2k words that will eventually make up the entirety of the story. I can't make any promises but I'm going to try to push for 2k word segments every Friday, realistically I say it will likely be about every two weeks or so.


Part one, Scrapping the bottom
► Show Spoiler
Last edited by DogKama on Fri Jun 10, 2016 7:54 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: (Title to come)

Post by Feathers »

A SFW story? Nice. Good to see that you are getting the writing inspiration back. It's too bad people rarely read and comment, we'd probably have more submissions in general. Hard to be motivated/improve with only a cold dark wind leaving blank comments. :(

So a story about angels and demons? Looks interesting.
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Re: (Title to come)

Post by Raet »

So true Feathers, it is very hard to be motivated about writing for this site when next to no-one comments.
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Re: (Title to come)

Post by DogKama »

Feathers wrote:A SFW story? Nice. Good to see that you are getting the writing inspiration back. It's too bad people rarely read and comment, we'd probably have more submissions in general. Hard to be motivated/improve with only a cold dark wind leaving blank comments. :(

So a story about angels and demons? Looks interesting.
Thank you Feathers for taking the time to comment. I have a rough idea on where and how I want the story go, but its subject to change the longer I spend writing it. For it involving angels and demons physically is still unknown but do know I'm trying to write it involving the characters in conflict their own inner selves.
Raet wrote:So true Feathers, it is very hard to be motivated about writing for this site when next to no-one comments.
I have to say I'm part of the problem. I haven't read any MG stories since Jolly(that polar bear) and Architect used to post, but my main problem is I'm more of a lurker. I only post or comment when I feel there's something I can add to the conversation without it being a copy paste of other comments. Still once I finish this and perhaps start another story a lack of comments wouldn't stop me.
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Re: (Title to come)

Post by Feathers »

@Raet- It's not just here though, MANY forums suffer from the "I just want to show off my stuff" syndrome. I complained like crazy in my old forums about it a lot. What I concluded is that the majority are just picky readers, lack the time to read it and comment, have bad at read comprehension, etc. I fall into several of those categories myself. >_< (Sorry Blake! I really am!)

Personally, I'm tired of the word "mamono" and everything inspired by the MGE. I'm even MORE picky nowadays, and ready for more mature and well thought monster girl material and am bored with seeing a zillion fuck fics ('cuse the bluntness) or monster girl profiles. I can barely handle my frustration in anime at times these days too. The fan service is just getting worse and worse.. I do however still like to see original monster girl art that people make. *wink*

@Dogkama- Yeah, a story, in my opinion, is not dead set and can change at anytime. The best writers, I think, are very flexible. :) Also, there is no such thing as a copy and paste comment, unless you actually do it anyway. xD Besides, even the tiniest comments can make a person very happy. If you actually read it, why not leave a few nice words or your own opinion of the writing?

Anyways, sorry to kind of derail your story topic.
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Re: (Title to come)

Post by Xesh001 »

Seems like it'll be an interesting story from what you've said, along with the sample. I'll keep my eye out for more!
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Re: (Title to come)

Post by Blake81 »

Ohh! I like that preamble. If you need any help with it, do PM me; I'll be always glad to help.
Feathers wrote:>_< (Sorry Blake! I really am!)
It's OK, I'm pretty picky too. :p
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Re: (Title to come)

Post by Animajunki123 »

Hum... I'll look forward to it. Thing is, I've read so many stories about redemption and inner conflict that I'm not sure what you'll bring to the table that might surprise me, but I still wanna read it
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Re: (Title to come)

Post by Feathers »

Knowing Dog, it's going to be unpredictable.
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Post by Hood »

A "Sexy in a Friendly Way" story? It is no wonder that tons of sex will follow, am I right? Jokes aside, it is to early to give a proper comment so, I'll wait until I can see more devolepement; also, the Chief God is female. And... I'm pretty interested in that "deeper thought" you mentioned.
There are those who would scorn good-natured people. Even if God himself will
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visiting Judgement upon them. This is what is known as "Divine Retribution"
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Re: (Title to come)

Post by DogKama »

Hood wrote:A "Sexy in a Friendly Way" story? It is no wonder that tons of sex will follow, am I right? Jokes aside, it is to early to give a proper comment so, I'll wait until I can see more devolepement; also, the Chief God is female. And... I'm pretty interested in that "deeper thought" you mentioned.
I understand the Chief God is female but do they know that? By that I'm referring to the land of man might believe there is one god and its a man, but doesn't know they change ever so often.

For the deeper thought comment, I can't say for sure what it is but that Im trying to write a short story with characters plausible concerns.
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Re: (Title to come)

Post by Firedragon »

DogKama wrote:
Hood wrote:also, the Chief God is female.
I understand the Chief God is female but do they know that? By that I'm referring to the land of man might believe there is one god and its a man, but doesn't know they change ever so often.
Besides, Japanese doesn't have a grammatical gender, so "Chief God" and "Chief Goddess" are the same in KC's writings anyway. Since it's been consistently translated as "Chief God" (i.e. male), I'm assuming the translator(s) had a reason for that. Either there's some implication that the "Chief God" is usually seen as a male figure by those fools or there is no indication at all concerning "his" gender, which would allow the train of thought Dog mentioned.

And let's be honest, we're talking about religious fanatics here who KNOW (and are actually correct in this one instance...) that the "evil demons" trying to seduce/corrupt everyone are all FEMALE, so it does make sense that they'd see their "good god" as a "pure" male being...
If only they knew... :twisted:
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Re: (Title to come)

Post by DogKama »

I'm working on this one-shot on and off and I knew from the get go that it was going to have some words to it. I'm close to about 2,000 words which doesn't sound that bad for a one-shot but I haven't even reached the point I would safely call the beginning. If I were to be realistic I would say the story would be finished around 8-10k words.

Having said that should I perhaps post this one-shot in chunks? Post 2000 words here, another here to break up future wall of text or post it as a single finished story?
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Re: (Title to come)

Post by Feathers »

I prefer chunks over walls myself. Walls KO me instantly. Seriously, can you imagine reading a book with one gigantic page? :o This is why I can't read most stories on here.
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Re: (Title to come)

Post by Blake81 »

DogKama wrote:I'm working on this one-shot on and off and I knew from the get go that it was going to have some words to it. I'm close to about 2,000 words which doesn't sound that bad for a one-shot but I haven't even reached the point I would safely call the beginning. If I were to be realistic I would say the story would be finished around 8-10k words.

Having said that should I perhaps post this one-shot in chunks? Post 2000 words here, another here to break up future wall of text or post it as a single finished story?
I myself have a way to split the stories up as indeed text walls are hard to read. As a whole, I divide my story into Chapters, each Chapter is divided in Parts, and each Part is subdivided using what I call ''Breaks'', which are ''···'', usually centered and bold.

I have the threshold of never letting a Chapter go too far beyond 6K words, which each Part being around 2K words each, for a total of 3 Parts per Chapter. The breaks are more meant to be like scene transitions, making the separation between a scene and the other.

Since this is a One-Shot, I wouldn't use Chapters at all, and use more Breaks instead of Parts. It makes for a more sectioned text and makes it feel less massive, as oversized stories can sometimes discourage readers.

My only One-Shot, Cold Companionship uses that system, so if you're looking for ideas, you could take a look at it.

Hope that helps.
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Re: (Title to come)

Post by Feathers »

Also what really grinds my gears with a lot of stories, is when people grab a thesaurus and swap for rarely used words just to try to add "spice" (aka try to sound smart). Journalists (gaming included) are especially guilty of this, and it drive me insane when I have to Google a word that NO ONE would use in real life. Of course when you have people like Sheldon in Big Bang doing it, it can be amusing at least.
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Re: (Title to come)

Post by Blake81 »

Feathers wrote:Also what really grinds my gears with a lot of stories, is when people grab a thesaurus and swap for rarely used words just to try to add "spice" (aka try to sound smart). Journalists (gaming included) are especially guilty of this, and it drive mes insane when I have to Google a word that NO ONE would use in real life.
Well, I must admit I DO that now and then... :^^;:

But only when it fits with the character saying them (or when I am simply trying to sound like Wayne June, hahah).

If I'm writing the dialogue of a character I've described as intellectual or refined, I do not want him to have the same vocabulary of every other character whom might not have the same level of culture and education. After all, movies, anime and some games have the advantage of having a voice-over, where the way the actor speaks (be it his accent, or just his tone) helps to give each character a sense of personality and uniqueness. On text, all you have to make that distinction is how you choose to phrase each line. So a few obscure words here and there may help to give the idea that this character has been through a lot of refined literature or comes from a rich upbringing.

And plus, now and then, it can be fun to use a wordy mouthful. After all, what's funnier? To just say ''Why do you have so much porn here?'' or to say ''Was there any reason for you to keep such a sheer quantity of…… explicit imagery showing female members of your race engaged in such a plethora of genitive and venereal acts, most of them clearly not meant to function for any kind of reproductive purposes?''. Sure, the first one might be simpler to understand, but I'm sure that to hear the second one can be a source for a good laugh, heheh.
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Re: (Title to come)

Post by Feathers »

As I said it makes sense to me if you want to use for a character enhancement, to be extremely specific (like a certain breed of dog), or with humor, which is why I mentioned Sheldon (Youtube him if curious). I'm talking about mostly scene description or general out of dialogue situations when people do it. In my opinion it's an obstruction and kills my immersion in those cases.
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Re: (Title to come)

Post by DogKama »

Agreed, I only use the thesaurus to find a word that will spare me from using several.

For your one-shot Blake, Ill give it a look over but how I planed on posting mine was with the use of spoiler tags. I've written a couple of stories on Fimfiction(MLP fanfiction site) and feel I've grown as a writer to start trying different things. I haven't read any of the stories on TMM so I'm not sure where to start at, so if anybody has some suggestions Ill be more than happy to give it a read.
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Re: (Title to come)

Post by Firedragon »

DogKama wrote:I've written a couple of stories on Fimfiction(MLP fanfiction site)
Alright, time to call in the exorcists. Or maybe a couple Terminators. Or Chuck Norris. Or Subria... :lol:
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